Love it. Despite the English major, I don't remember ever having had learned about the various tenses, so being able to identify them still carries magic for me. I am very fond of using the present tense in storytelling, however, because it makes things so much more immediate. (Similarly, I don't mind the use of 'like' as a framing device, in lieu of 'said', since it implies the quote that follows will be acted out, rather than merely recited.)
As I got skinnier, I got great pleasure out of swanning
through a crowded room and leaning against a pillar or
abutment and striking an elegant pose and watching women
fling themselves at me like moths on a lightbulb. On May
Day, a child of twenty-one named Moxie hit on me in the
Brew Ha Ha. She was plump, like a popover, and wore daisies
in her hair and a smock that said Color Me Happy, and
she said, "I'm sitting over there and I'm going, like, Who is
that totally hot guy? And I'm, like, Do I dare walk over and
talk to him? And I'm going, No way. And then I'm going,
like, Why not. You look hot. Like, how old are you?"
"Darling child, if you and I were to talk and my shoulder
brushed your shoulder, we'd be caught in a rushing
torrent of ravenous passion and down the white-frothed
spillway and over the roaring cataract of romance and into
a whirling vortex of desire--kissing, caressing, clutching,
grabbing, thrusting, crying out with hunger and delight--
and, beautiful as our intentions might be, it simply wouldn't
work and here's why--I live in many different verb tenses,
such as the imperfect indicative, the past imperfect, and the
subjunctive, and you, sweetheart, only in the present indicative.
I mean, you're going, like, Who is that guy? but I
have gone or might have gone or will have gone, but you
just pretty much keep going, and someday you may look
back and wonder where I went. And I'll be, like, not there."
She gave me a triumphal smile. "I had been hoping
you could come to my apartment and we might have come
to know each other better," she said, a predicate that almost stole my heart away.